James Blunt & Malpractice Ball

My future husband...should he ever figure that out.

Kim and I at Malpractice Ball

Jon (The 1 1/2 Month Mistake) and I at Malpractice Ball.

My real boyfriend, again.

Wynee, Shirlee, and I being naughty at the pre-party!

Now For Some Fun Pictures...Fall Out Boy/All-American Rejects

The opening band sucked...I think I lost an eardrum from all the rawr-rawring going on.

At "The Liffey" for drinks beforehand.

The girls at the concert...how I love all my chicas!

I'm Back!!!!

God it has been forever and a day since I posted last. I guess time just got away from me for a while. I am doing much better than the last post, and since that time I have dated a guy for a month and a half, been broken-up with by the same guy for no reason apparent to me, gone to several amazing concerts (All-American Rejects, The Dan Band, Death Cab For Cutie, Franz Ferdinand), taken a ton of med school "quizzes", had my father get married, went on Spring Break to Vegas, danced on the bar at Coyote Ugly, had an drunken St. Patty's day at my place, and most recently...got completely schnackered last Friday night for "Kate-A-Palooza", otherwise known as my "reintroduction to the wilds of singledom."

Any takers?

It's Official....

I am "clinically depressed" and having an "episode" of some sorts. Well, at least that is what the head shrinkers say. They think it was all triggered by finding out my Grandma is at the end stage of esophogeal and liver cancer. Me, I don't know. All I do know is that everything in my life is going good right now but I feel like an incredibly large pool of gooey nothingness. Basically, I am having the hardest time imaginable motivating myself to get out of bed in the morning, shower, and make the 10 minute trek to campus in order to actually attend my classes.

Yup, med student who can't make it to class. That is me right here and trust me I am not proud of it. In fact, I am rather ashamed of myself because deep down I know I should be doing better....that I am capable of being a good student. In turn, the shame I am feeling turns to anger and I get really frustrated with the fact that my mind is thinking one thing but doing the complete opposite.

Don't worry, I am not suicidal or anything like that....trust me, I am too unmotivated to even be thinking that. I am on medications, but I am now on my second switch because the others just don't seem to be working quite like they should. I am also seeing the therapist like a good depressive should...as embarrassing as that is to me. Yup, I see a shrink. On. A. Regular. Basis.

And I will be delivering your children someday. Scary, isn't it? Right now the thought is sure scaring the hell out of me!

My saving grace is the fact that the U records all of our lectures, so I can watch them all online at my own pace. So, here I sit at 12:00 am, unable to sleep because of the subsequent insomnia and am catching up on all the neuroscience and one physiology lecture I've missed so far.

Funny thing is...I should be caught up on my classes by the morning. So why in the hell is this shit I am going through stressing me the fuck out?

Go Sea-Chickens!!!!!

Ahh, it is Superbowl Sunday and I am officially cheering for the Seattle Seahawks. I have to represent for my dearly loved, and now deceased, grandpa. One of my favorite memories of him was that every summer I spent in Tacoma he would listen to or watch every baseball and pre-season football game. I don't know how many times I curled up with him in his recliner and we talked while he watched the game. He would attempt to explain the game to me, but it never really worked. To this day I still don't understand football. But today is a special day because it is the first time in my life that the Seahawks have made it to the "big game". I've got to root them on for gramps!

Oh, that and Seattle teams were the closest thing that Alaska had to root for when we were growing up!!!!!

Bad Things Come In Threes...

Or at least that is what my grandma used to say to me. So, after today all that is left on my mind is: where's that third thing? Come on, bring the curve ball. I am fully expecting something horrid to happen based on what has already happened today.

#1: I received an email last night from my Dad telling me my Nanny (his mother) has been diagnosed with esophogeal cancer than has now metastisized to her liver. She has been given less than a year to live. I must say that we saw this coming because she had previously fought breast cancer, but it is still a bit of a shock to my system and brought me down a bit last night.

#2: While I was recording a fellow student's patient interview today at the hospital I almost fainted. Yup, almost fainted while standing up and holding a video camera. I had to set the thing down on a table rather abruptly because I had broken into a cold sweat, was nauseous, and thought I was going to fall over. How appropriate, or to mention unprofessional, would it have been for the medical student to fall over on the neuro ward while interviewing the patient.

Plus, once I got home I was even more naseous and had to lay down for a while just to feel relatively normal again. My roommate has a bit of a stomach bug. I sure hope I don't end up with it!

Even Though We Fight, I Still Love Her

The Top Ten Reasons I'll Love My Mom No Matter What:

1. She listens to me bitch about anything and everything...even if she doesn't agree with me.
2. She raised us the best she could, even if I hated her sometimes while she was doing it.
3. She married my Dad, who adopted me, and gave me a chance to have a father when the sperm donor didn't want to be.
4. She divorced my Dad when he cheated on her, instilling in me the faith that no matter what I didn't need a man to complete me or support me.
5. Even though it doesn't always come across clearly, I know she loves me and is proud of all I have done with my life.
6. After the divorce, she raised us on her own, and while things were sometimes not the best of times we still never went without.
7. She always fostered the "bookworm" in me...I guess it worked out well!
8. We were raised to think liberally about things, be nonjudgmental about people, and try our best to "do the right thing".
9. I got my wonderful speed typing skills from her...Go medical transcriptionists!!!!
1o. I think my good looks came from her side of the family....if you've ever seen a picture of my biological father you'll know what I mean! :)

Love Ya!

MIGRAINE!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

WTF?

Why do I get a migraine now, when I need to study and concentrate in order to get all my life in order before the physiology quiz and my research meeting with Dr. P tomorrow? I think it is God's way of punishing me...or telling me that caffeine is bad for me. I didn't have my usual coffee this morning, so by the time I got home at 6:00 a headache was starting to manifest itself.

To head it off at the gate I brewed a huge pot of coffee and have drank the entire thing while I attempt to study...and watch Project Runway (my guilty pleasure)...however, it is not working and the damn headache has only gotten worse. It is actually making me nauseous. Looking at anything light, i.e. my computer screen, gives me a creepy sense of vertigo.

I'm out. Time to throw up now.

Things Only Med Students Find Fascinating...

I volunteer at a local clinic every once in a while as an attempt at fostering better "doctor" skills and giving back to my community. It really is a perfect fit in a way. I am learning something and I feel great about helping people that do not necessarily have the best access to healthcare. The idealistic young physician in me is fulfilled somehow by volunteering for those few hours once every six weeks. I love talking to the people that volunteer there because they seem to have a similiar perspective on healthcare and a great outlook on life.

So, Monday night I volunteered for the second time but it was my first time in as a lab technician. Lab techs are the ones who run all the tests ordered by the docs...that our rudimentary lab can handle...we are in the basement of a church after all! Some examples would be blood draws, HIV tests, immunizations, and pregnancy tests. Anything that is a bit more technical or requires fancy machinery gets sent on to a "higher tech" lab for testing.

To get to the point, I gave my first shots ever last night! Two separate patients came in needing routine immunizations and I got to inject them all by myself! God, it makes me sound like a little kid just getting potty trained, doesn't it? But I was so thrilled by the fact I actually got to stick someone with a needle. And. I. Did. It. Right.

It's the little things in life that thrill me these days. Between class, volunteering, organizing a research project, and everything else I have no time for the "fun" stuff.